people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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