I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
