Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
