It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
