Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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