I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
