I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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