About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
