90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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