just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
