return my video game
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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