hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
