you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
