Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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