Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
