if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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