I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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