hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
