i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
