I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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