my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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