I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
