yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
