White coat. Heels.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
