I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
