I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
