so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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