The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
