dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
