cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
