Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
