Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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