Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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