I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
