my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
