Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
