someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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