All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
