i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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