I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
