I CAN MOONWALK!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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