Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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