so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
