Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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