Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
