you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Found the puke drawer
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
