Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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