That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
