How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm too high and old for this...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
