You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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